Happy New Year! This year has started out very different for me than I would have ever planned or expected. Just before Christmas I was hospitalized for 4 days with pancreatitis. I have basically enjoyed good health for most of my life, and so being so sick and being in the hospital was nothing I made provision for as I planned our family Christmas.
I was very excited as Christmas was approaching because my two oldest sons and their families were coming to our home for the holidays. I had decorated, planned baking crafts for when 7 of our grandchildren were going to be with us. I had all my menus planned, shopping done, and cleaned to my hearts content. Not much makes a momma happier than having her children around.
On the Friday before Christmas I had made my chocolate peanut bars, caramel corn, wrapped all the gifts, and pretty much finished all my shopping. Now we were getting ready to meet the kids at Bass Pro Shop. I woke up with a strange pain in my stomach that burned clear through to my back. I was afraid that I might have an ulcer, but nothing was going to damper my spirit or stop me from enjoying the time with my kids...or so I thought. As we approached the parking lot to the Bass Pro Shop I started feeling nauseated.
The next think I knew I was laying on the floor in a public restroom asking a complete stranger to help me as I was in more pain than I had ever experienced! I knew that we had to call 911, and that someone had to contact my husband who was waiting for me in the car. As all of this was going on I wasn't thinking about much of anything other than taking off my tights and boots and asking the emt to please knock me out so I would no longer feel the pain.
The next thing that happened is what I did not expect. As I was being taken to the ambulance on the gurney I spotted my son...and then all my thoughts changed. I found myself disappointed that my son (a 33 year old man) had to see his mother in this state. I was concerned that my hair looked wild and he would be all the more concerned about me because I looked like a mess (not something I generally feel comfortable with). It seemed from that moment all my concerns were for my children and how my illness might affect them.
I didn't want to spoil their Christmas. I didn't want to have to give them sad news just before Christmas. I wanted my husband to spend time with the kids at home since they had come to visit and not leave them there alone (he didn't listen to me, but it was how I felt.) I kept apologizing to everyone for spoiling the holiday by getting sick (as if I had done it on purpose). As I was writhing in pain and undergoing tests I made my husband promise that if I had cancer we would not tell the kids until after Christmas.
Through all that went on I obviously wanted relief from my pain, but I was not concerned about it nearly as much as I was concerned that all was well with my kids. I wanted them to be happy, worry free, and to be in a spirit of rejoicing over the holiday of the birth of our Saviour. I began to wonder if all moms think that way. We know that we love our kids and that our hearts are all bound in their lives and that our hopes are always for their best - but I guess after I pondered the whole situation I wondered if all moms are that way.
I thought about Isaiah 66:13 which says, "As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem." I thought of how God compares His comfort to that of a mother and realized that no matter how grown up our kids are, no matter how rough we have it - it is just in our make-up to be first concerned with our children's comfort. While everyone told me I was ridiculous to think about those things in the middle of suffering and being sicker than I had ever been in my life - I realized that my concerns were a reflection of God's love for us. It reminds me of the song, "When He was On the Cross, I was on His mind."
Thank you Lord for reminding me of how much you love me. Hope this serves as a loving reminder to you as well.
Have a wonderful day!