We live in a “me” generation, by that I mean most people ask “what can I get?” instead of “what can I do?” We can all be so selfish, even on the Ruffles chips bag, it says, “Get your own bag;” in days gone by, it was the "family pass around pack." We used to be encouraged to share, now it’s “get your own” - it sounds silly, but it’s just subtle and constant enough to affect the way we think.
We all expect something for ourselves - “What’s in it for me?” is a very common question. People that are consumed with serving themselves will not muster up the strength or energy to serve God or work on the things that God has given them. "And there is none that calleth upon thy name, that stirreth up himself to take hold of thee..." Isaiah 64:7 I would like to encourage you to “stir yourself up” and “keep the fire burning” in your marriage! God instituted marriage; it is a holy union that will be blessed as your keep Christ in the center.
Too many wives complain about what their husband is not doing and sit back and look at what they’re getting out of it instead of looking for ways to fire it up and keep it going. Have you ever noticed that if you leave a fire unattended it will go out, but if you stir it up a little and get the embers glowing and feed it some more wood, it will get burning?
Stir yourself up to keep it burning - Fire it up!
1. Pay attention- be attentive, attend to it. Give your marriage your attention, don’t let it just happen, you have to work it. Appreciate it, don’t take it for granted, remember when you were dating, and how much you wanted to get married? How sweet and polite you were? How you dressed to impress him fixing your hair, wearing make-up and jewelry, perfume- you always made sure your teeth were brushed and your breath was sweet. You would never have wanted him to come over to your house and see it a mess- why should that change? You need the same ingredients to keep a fire going as it took to start it. It’s the same in your marriage. Of course, there are times you won’t have make-up on (in the morning when you wake up) and every house needs to be cleaned, it won’t always be 100% perfect, but your husband should not come home from work to a messy, dirty house or a sloppy looking wife. Show your husband you appreciate him.
2. Build him. “Every wise woman buildeth her house…” Let him know you appreciate him, and that you are following him. He has a God-given position to lead; it gets lonely in front all alone. Let him know you are behind him. You are commanded to be submissive, (not just if you think he deserves it). God will honor your faith and obedience.
3. Be affectionate. Remember before you were married, you wanted to hold his hand, hug him, kiss, or be close to him? Men physically need that. They are made that way. Make it romantic- soft music, candles, nice dinner, look nice, and be sweet. If you have kids, occasionally farm them out or wait until they go to bed. Think about it, if your husband came home to that kind of scene how it would encourage him to know that you would do that for him. Now if you’re a stay at home mom at the very least your husband deserves a clean house, a nice meal waiting for him and a wife that is dressed and made up for him. You would do that much for friends; you should be willing to do more for your husband.
4. Give 100% Realize the fact that marriages are falling apart because everyone expects the other half to do the stirring.
I don’t think any of you want a dead marriage, don’t sit there and let it happen. Stir it up; create some excitement in your marriage. Your husband is the purpose God created you for- that to me makes him pretty important. Too many wives, Christians, fail to stir themselves up to take hold of God and to take care of their marriages. God has so many wonderful things prepared for us, if we’ll wait on Him. That means do it His way. "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him. Thou meetest him that rejoiceth and worketh righteousness, those that remember thee in thy ways..." Isaiah 64:4, 5
Too many of us stir things up alright, but we need to stir ourselves up to take hold of Him and then you'll see the joy that God has in store for you. "Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." Psalm 16:11
Have a wonderful day!