Completer or Finisher?

In my reading this morning I saw again how important the influence of a wife can be on her husband in II Kings 8:18, “And he walked in the way of the kings of Israel, as did the house of Ahab: for the daughter of Ahab was his wife: and he did evil in the sight of the LORD.” This is speaking of Jehoram, and then I also thought of Solomon and how the many women he loved turned Him away from God! “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.” I Kings 11:4 God had appeared to Solomon twice, He had given him wisdom above all men, and yet his wives were able to turn his heart away from God.

The role of the wife is that of an help meet for her husband. That means that the wife should help her husband, and be meet or proper and fitting for him. In Genesis the first time we see that God says anything about His creation is not good, is when He said “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” Genesis 2:18 in other words man needed a wife to complete him.

The wife has tremendous influence over her husband. I remember hearing through the years that the husband is the head, but the wife is neck that turns the head. As a mom of three sons I know that in raising our boys we put all that we could into them so that when they were grown we could turn out mature, responsible, God-fearing men that would be ready to contribute to the next generation – we did all we could for them, and then when they got married their wife’s position is to help them, to complete them.

Now there are two ways a wife can influence her husband – she can either be a completer or a finisher. Both of those words have similar meanings, but they really are quite different. Complete means: lacking nothing; whole; entire; full; finished may mean completed, but it also means: condemned, doomed, or in the process of extinction. In the case of Jehoram and Solomon, they were finished!

Ladies, you have power! You can make the difference in what your husband does with his life. You can be a completer so that he is entire and wanting nothing…or you can be a finisher and be the end of him. You choose, you can influence him to live for you, or you can follow God’s plan and love him, pray for him, and have a husband that is complete. He can have the testimony that he was evil because of his wife, or he can be known in the gates as is the case of the virtuous woman whose end is recorded…” Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” Proverbs 31:28

The wives that think they’re going to win by influencing their husbands for their own gain lose because they finish their man – but the wife that completes her husband is loved and respected by her children, she is happy (blessed) and gains his praise! So ladies – make him complete, don’t finish him off!

Have a wonderful day!


  1. This is excellent teaching! We have two sons and a daughter, and I am always trying teach my daughter, age 17, that she will influence the boys in her life, and eventually her husband, for either good or bad. If women and girls just realized the potential we have for influencing our men for God and right, I think they might just be motivated to be a good influence rather than allowing themselves to be interested in only having their own way!

  2. Hi Terrie, I just read your Tender Touch and it was very helpful, more wives should read this, it would help in their marriage. I am so very proud of you and the way that you raised your kids and the way they turned out. You are writing from experience not just blowing bubbles, love Mom keep up the good work!

  3. Hey Mrs. A,
    This is a really good prep for me before I get married. Have you considered writing a book about the roles of a woman and a wife! I would so buy your book! This is great!


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